it all started out so well. it was a nice, relaxing day. gammer puttered around the house, I bought new calligraphy pens at michael's. we watched tennis, we ate dinner. gammer tried on her new halloween sunglasses and I documented the event. and then, all hell broke loose. poor gammer fell into the deep end of being confused and I damn near lost my mind right with her. I think I would have been okay if she hadn't kept shouting at me to go outside to see a bunny, despite me shouting back that I was on the phone. we did this back and forth until she got mad at me and gave up. this was followed by the mystery of the nonexistent puddle, the case of the disappearing paper towel (to combat the nonexistent puddle), and the riddle of how many times to walk the dog. but the thing is, gammer gets so forgetful that we do these things several times over, like a little dance. It's okay to joke about now, but sometimes while these things are happening I get so frustrated and upset. when you are old and have dementia, certain links in your brain just don't connect correctly. so how can I argue with that? it doesn't matter how many times I explain there is no puddle in the bathroom, or that she's already had the dog out, her brain just doesn't seem to process it. well, it does, but it doesn't hold. the good thing about this is that as jarringly frustrating as it can be, it doesn't last. sometimes I find a quiet spot and cry and get it all out, sometimes I do what I did tonight, which is attack the dirty dishes and the hamster cage. I sent gam to the bathtub and she's already in bed. and tomorrow is another day. :)
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